Friday, July 25, 2008

In need of a little Couple's therapy

It's been a while since we've taken a picture together or gone on a date or had a good conversation. Sound familiar? Last week we went to dinner and a movie, talked about the future, and took some pictures. That counts as good therapy, don't you think? Being married for several years now we should be masters at communicating with each other and practically be able to read each other's minds by now, right? That's being unrealistic but sometimes I wonder......... were we even in the same room when we had that conversation?

I think having been married for so long, being spread thin, and getting into a routine, it's easy to get lazy with the communication and take each other for granted. I had a friend say her parents can't stand each other after all these years of marriage and trying to build up a good life. It's easy to forget to nourish a marriage when we're going in a hundred different directions and some of the goals we're shooting for are distracting us from doing so. I certainly don't want to end up like that and am closely observing couples that have made it work.

I've noticed that both my parents and Chris' parents rely on each other a lot for things such as friendship, companionship, and guidance. When hard times come, they only have each other to rely on. There's also one other thing I've noticed, they haven't completely mastered the communications thing either. I'm thinking that skill will always take more work and it's nothing to be too discouraged about.

Now if we can just work on listening to one another without getting all worked up that would be awesome. And if I can spit it out without having to cry like a little girl, I think I could sound more reasonable and intelligent. Although he seems to soften up quite a bit when I fail miserably at trying not to cry. Maybe that crying like a little girl thing is a skill I want to keep. And why can't I be satisfied with his manly one liners? It must be a female thing to want all the details, to ask way too many follow up questions, and to interpret everything from every angle.

Well there definitely is a lot of tolerating that we do around here on both ends. But there's a lot of fun as well and it does take good hard work that we're willing to put in.


Chris said...


Chris said...

why is my wife so HOT! and I so frumpy...I need to lose some more weight :(

but, yes, it was good to get out and spend more time together, very therapeutic.

Amy-Alisa said...

When we got married, my aunt told me that the only thing she would recommend would be to go on dates with your spouse on a regular basis. She attributed her divorce to them growing apart and not having anything in common anymore. And, oh my, it is nice to just sit and talk with Travis without worrying about one kid making a mess, or one wandering off or one hurting their self. Travis and I have so few picture together, it's sad.
The other day, Trav was like, "Isn't it great that we are so good at communicating now?" I as like, What? We still stink at it, but we are getting better and are more patient (at times) than when we were newly married. Marriage is just something that takes constant work, but is worth it everyday.

Carson Calderwood said...

If looks were all that mattered you both would have a perfect marriage! Good to hear you guys got out. We are always so surprised with how nice that can be when we actually work it into our schedule.

Sara C. said...

What a good lookin couple! Yes, I agree with Chris, Nancy is HOT! (not that you aren't hot, Chris)

Do you guys pay for babysitting when you go out? Doesn't that hurt? I hate paying $20-30 bucks to go out, even though I know it is good for us.

lucy said...

I really dislike paying for babysitting. Usually the babysitting cost leaves us only enough to go to the 50 cent movie and to share a dollar burger from Mc Ds. (nah I'm exaggerating but just a little). But, I hear you! Through the summer, Chris' brother is living with us so we haven't had to pay for any sitting. It's been nice. We usuallly leave after the kids are in bed so he doesn't do much but it frees us up to do anything. We trained for our race together. We've gone biking and to the gym and run errands anytime. He was kind enough to watch the kids solo when we were gone a Friday and Saturday to run the Ragnar. It's been nice!

jkziel said...

lovely pictures!
Paul and I don't do much together now-a-days we need to take advantage of the grandma babysitters so close!

CUTRER said...

What cute photos, where did you take them at? Well Paul & I had one of thoes convertations this Sunday about talking to eachother and not at eachother. And that we have noticed that we need to do it for the kids to act in that manner too! I am just hoping that Jordan is old enough to B sti so that I will never have to pay for a B sitter ever.

julie lee said...

I wonder who your friend is whose parents can't stand each other! :o) Good for you two to get out and have a HOT date! he he! Every marriage needs that once in a while! You two are a gorgeous couple!