Friday, August 08, 2008

My Tips for Shopping at Walmart

1. If you have a question, don't ask. You are better off figuring it out yourself. It will save you time and energy
2. Go with a good attitude and don't let anything bother you.
3. Ignore everyone and pretend you are the only one there. Don't begin to look around you because you will lose your focus. My husband always comes back with descriptions of unique people. They tend to shop at Walmart.
4. Don't wear tight work out shorts/pants, of any length to avoid creepy guys checking out your rear end. If you want people to quickly get out of your way and move behind you, it's a good tactic if you don't mind the galking.
5. People tend to try to make you move out of their way even though you aren't done trying to find your product and you were there first. Just get out of the way and don't make a big deal even though they should just wait or use another isle.
6. When you see people clearing an isle in masses, don't go through it. Someone has for sure passed gas. Get the hint and steer clear or else you'll pay.
7. Alway greet the handicapped greeter at the entrance/exit no matter how awkward
8. When the cashier hits on you, just pretend you don't speak English or play dumb
9. Go get your school supplies right now for dirt cheap
10. Don't forget to screw the cap back on after taking a sniff, because the checker will be very annoyed with the mess it makes on the counter and he/she will NOT give you a new bottle no matter how empty.
11. Use your ipod or be prepared to call DCFS for child abuse.
12. Bribe you kids to stay behaved. They get to pick a treat AT THE END. Give yourself a treat for making it through.
13. If you are hanging onto life by a few strings don't go to Walmart, you are sure to have a melt down.
14. Wash, Wash, Wash your hands when you get home and your kids hands. There are lots of nasty things going around and if you're going to get it from somewhere there's a good chance it'll be from Walmart.

16 comments:

VAgirlinUT said...

A melt-down, for sure. Unless they have powdered Donettes. ;o)

Thanks for the tips and funny commentary - I am on my way there now!

Emily said...

love that post because you know me I steer clear of Wal-Mart unless it's an absolute MUST. But pretty much I just don't shop there. Love that post though...funny!

Chris said...

funny

Cheri said...

You are so funny and SO correct. I once asked a worker if they had more of an item in back and he laughed at me. He said it would take him years to find it and that I should just come back another day. We joke in Wisconsin that you can always find 1) someone in a NASCAR jacket 2) a great mullet and 3) someone in Packer pajama pants everytime.
Your tips are great.

Bengal Mom said...

Nancy, I was laughing so hard my stomach hurts! You are so funny!!

Christiansen Family said...

Thanks for the good laugh! Hilarious...and soooo very true! I have one to add...don't fill a perscription within an hour of them closing. All you will get is unhelpful, apathetic employees that make you go all the way over to a checkout stand to pay for it because they are too lazy to ring you up themselves, even if they are still supposed to be open!

CUTRER said...

So lately I have had to make a stop at Walmart due to the Target being futher away and yes your list is true (exept for the people checking me out part). 2 Nights ago I had to go and I did get help from the emp but with it being my fault I went after 8 and with all the kids I was ready to have a melt down!!! we didn't get home till after 9 I wanted a treat....

the narrator said...

a simple rule for avoiding all of this:

DON'T SHOP AT WALMART

Leslie said...

You are so right Nancy! I totally avoid Walmart unless it absolutely cannot be helped. I always feel like I need to take a shower when I come home from there. Thanks for the laugh!

Sara C. said...

so funny, so true! I avoid wally world like the plague, which is something you can probably get there, actually! sometimes, though, you just have to bite it and go, and hate it the whole time, even though you probably saved like $5 or whatever.

D said...

Funny and so true. Since I don't have Super Walmart and they don't open 24-7 where I live, my advice is to go early to avoid all the weirdos, rude people and long lines.

setsuko said...

I thought only Virginia Wal marts are likes this. I am so glad to hear to know I am not only one "I hate Wal mart, but go there evey week". You should post this to news paper.

Carson Calderwood said...

Great post. I've been slowly breaking Marisa down to go to the close walmart for things they have that are the same as the far away Target, but it has been hard for all these reasons.

lucy said...

Setsuko, Loyd is so jealous that you left a comment on my blog! heehee. Thanks for the comment. I love to hear what others are thinking about the posts. so thanks for reading and leaving your notes!!

jkziel said...

great list!

Tiffany said...

Why do we shop there? Because it's so CHEAP and that's how ya do it with big families! I'm glad our super Walmart is new and pretty nice...you just have to be smart about when you go!

Cheri's comments about packer pajamas...too funny.