Saturday, May 31, 2008
Donut Falls Today
We hiked up to Donut Falls today with the boys. The road to the trail was closed so it added an extra 2 miles to the hike because we couldn't drive up to the trailhead. We ended up walking to it. The actual hike I believe is 3/4 of a mile one way.
There was still alot of slushy snow so the boy's feet were pretty cold and wet on our way back down. Other than that the weather was warm. It's deceitful to see all that snow. You may have wondered why we weren't dressed in coats, boots, gloves, and hats but we were actually really warm besides the boys feet.
The kids were troopers. I'm pretty amazed that they hiked as much as they did. I wouldn't recommend going up with small kids until the snow is completely melted.
(I apologize to all those with RSS feeds. I had to tinker a lot to get this stinky slide show to work the way I wanted it to)
Thursday, May 29, 2008
I'm Changing My Mind
I've always thought of myself as more liberal than my peers. I would sit through conversations with really conservative people and think "Nope, I feel differently."
I'm prochoice not because I think abortion is moral but because I feel that a woman should have the freedom to make up her own mind and also because some women will put their lives at risk with unsafe abortion procedures if desperate enough. So, why not make it safe for them. I also believe that people suffer the consequences of poor choices and so let them.
Now on the issue of Gay marriages I have always felt the same way....people have free agency. I also felt that gay people are being discriminated against. It's that social worker in me that wants to stand up for the down trodden.
However, recently I saw a picture of a famous guy and his boy friend holding hands and walking together. It disturbed me. Not because I dislike them but because I thought about how I would explain such a picture to my sons if they saw it. I realized that although I am desensitized to so many things, I don't want my kids to be at such an early age. I don't want my boys to think this lifestyle is OK because I personally wouldn't want that kind of life for my kids. Although at one point in my life I felt it was o.k. for gay marriages to be legalized, now I feel really uneasy with what's going on in California.
Having and raising kids has changed me so much. I realize I am still growing and changing.
Now back to the issue of abortion. I still feel the same but I wonder if I will feel differently if I have a daughter later down the road.
I'm prochoice not because I think abortion is moral but because I feel that a woman should have the freedom to make up her own mind and also because some women will put their lives at risk with unsafe abortion procedures if desperate enough. So, why not make it safe for them. I also believe that people suffer the consequences of poor choices and so let them.
Now on the issue of Gay marriages I have always felt the same way....people have free agency. I also felt that gay people are being discriminated against. It's that social worker in me that wants to stand up for the down trodden.
However, recently I saw a picture of a famous guy and his boy friend holding hands and walking together. It disturbed me. Not because I dislike them but because I thought about how I would explain such a picture to my sons if they saw it. I realized that although I am desensitized to so many things, I don't want my kids to be at such an early age. I don't want my boys to think this lifestyle is OK because I personally wouldn't want that kind of life for my kids. Although at one point in my life I felt it was o.k. for gay marriages to be legalized, now I feel really uneasy with what's going on in California.
Having and raising kids has changed me so much. I realize I am still growing and changing.
Now back to the issue of abortion. I still feel the same but I wonder if I will feel differently if I have a daughter later down the road.
Radiation
At the doctors office I was waiting for my appointment and picked up a Health magazine. I read an article about being over exposed to radiation with CT scans and other medical tests. (click Healtharticle) These medical procedures can mutate DNA that in the future cause cancer. The article basically was advising people to think twice about running these types of tests since we are already exposed to natural radiation. The numbers add up and take a toll on your body. So, I pocketed this new knowledge and told myself I would do that.
So there I am sitting in the examination room with one of the best cardiologists around when he says to me...that running this cardio stress test with thallium that my yearly exam through EHE suggested I do, is not a good idea. He said if I were his sister he would not let me do this procedure. Why you ask? Well, thallium is radiation and although not a huge amount, in studies the number of cancer cases were significant enough to cause worry.
So he suggested a much safer stress test already set up for next week that is much safer and will give us the information we need about my heart murmur.
I was really pleased with this guy not only because of what he suggested but also because he was so thorough in trying to figure out why a person my age with the stats I have is sitting in this office. His thoroughness also went into explaining his train of thought and the science behind the heart. It was really interesting.
So there I am sitting in the examination room with one of the best cardiologists around when he says to me...that running this cardio stress test with thallium that my yearly exam through EHE suggested I do, is not a good idea. He said if I were his sister he would not let me do this procedure. Why you ask? Well, thallium is radiation and although not a huge amount, in studies the number of cancer cases were significant enough to cause worry.
So he suggested a much safer stress test already set up for next week that is much safer and will give us the information we need about my heart murmur.
I was really pleased with this guy not only because of what he suggested but also because he was so thorough in trying to figure out why a person my age with the stats I have is sitting in this office. His thoroughness also went into explaining his train of thought and the science behind the heart. It was really interesting.
On Peanut Allergies
One of the allergens that K tested positive for was peanuts. A couple years ago he began overcoming some of his food allergies, so I decided to try peanut butter. He loved the sandwiches and begged for them everyday. About a week into this high consumption of peanut butter sandwiches, he started to get hives. I've read that it's good to rotate the grains that you give your allergic child so as not to redevelop an allergy to them after having grown out of them. So, I figured he redeveloped an allergy to peanuts because he had too many sandwiches in such a short time period.
However, when K tried peanuts, he didn't get hives and even devoured a whole pail of them. I was confused. So you can consume peanuts but not peanut butter? Interesting. Well, I had read that the process of making peanut butter makes peanuts potent and thus a major allergen for some.
At Good Earth, I started to buy him almond butter to replace peanut butter. They have a machine that grinds fresh almonds and peanuts right there in front of you. So now I'm thinking he can probably have ground peanuts as well since they are not processed with heat the way the stuff you buy at the store is. I haven't tried it yet but I'll let you know what happens.
I read a similar experience at:
can'teatpeanutbutterbutOKwithpeanuts
It's not the greatest article. So I'm still searching for similar experiences and the article I read about processed peanuts.
If you have a peanut allergy do not go off our experience. Consult with your doctor before you decide to do anything crazy and go eating a pail full of peanuts.
However, when K tried peanuts, he didn't get hives and even devoured a whole pail of them. I was confused. So you can consume peanuts but not peanut butter? Interesting. Well, I had read that the process of making peanut butter makes peanuts potent and thus a major allergen for some.
At Good Earth, I started to buy him almond butter to replace peanut butter. They have a machine that grinds fresh almonds and peanuts right there in front of you. So now I'm thinking he can probably have ground peanuts as well since they are not processed with heat the way the stuff you buy at the store is. I haven't tried it yet but I'll let you know what happens.
I read a similar experience at:
can'teatpeanutbutterbutOKwithpeanuts
It's not the greatest article. So I'm still searching for similar experiences and the article I read about processed peanuts.
If you have a peanut allergy do not go off our experience. Consult with your doctor before you decide to do anything crazy and go eating a pail full of peanuts.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Exciting News............
No, it's not what you think. Follow the link to the news for the day.
JustTryingToGetHome
Where was I, I miss everything.
JustTryingToGetHome
Where was I, I miss everything.
From Kanagawa
We got a package today from Miwako Obachan! Thank You! The boys were so excited. We absolutely love it.Sunday, May 25, 2008
Question of the Day
K asks me "So when do we get our girl?" referring to a baby sister. Ha. What can I say? Why don't I just order her from a catalog? I wish it was as easy as that. Kids......you gotta love em .
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Yard Work
Today has been really nice. The weather is great. We woke up early to clean up the church. I love seeing the boys work away happily. Both C and I went running/jogging this morning. I did 4.5 miles of uphill, downhill, and flat roads. C went uphill towards the canyon. Ouch!! We're getting ready for the Ragnar Relay that's next month. After which we did yard work. It all felt good.
Today after lots of weeding and chemicals, the yard's looking good. (hope the grass doesn't die)
The backyard is wonderfully large and unpleasantly difficult to mow. I leave this side to C.
The peppers, beans, beets, and tomatoes are in. The entire middle section is devoted to Edamame. Next comes the Japanese cucumbers (yummie) and zucchini.
This is the strawberry patch . In the back, finally, the raspberries pick up. And of course the sandbox, even though it was my idea, oh how I despise the sandbox. It turns into a cat litter and the sand ends up every where in the house. grrrrrr
Because last years strawberries, although plentiful, did not satiate our desires for them, C planted yet another patch. thank goodness.
So where are the boys now you ask? A is napping and the other two are shopping with dad. What a perfect day it has been!
Today after lots of weeding and chemicals, the yard's looking good. (hope the grass doesn't die)
The backyard is wonderfully large and unpleasantly difficult to mow. I leave this side to C.
The peppers, beans, beets, and tomatoes are in. The entire middle section is devoted to Edamame. Next comes the Japanese cucumbers (yummie) and zucchini.
This is the strawberry patch . In the back, finally, the raspberries pick up. And of course the sandbox, even though it was my idea, oh how I despise the sandbox. It turns into a cat litter and the sand ends up every where in the house. grrrrrr
Because last years strawberries, although plentiful, did not satiate our desires for them, C planted yet another patch. thank goodness.So where are the boys now you ask? A is napping and the other two are shopping with dad. What a perfect day it has been!
Lunch is Served
This is lunch according to L. The sandwich was a waste. The Kiwi , however, is gone, skin and all.
Last Weeks Field Trips
L's class took a tour of the local fire station and met the firemen.
K's class went to Thanksgiving Point to see the farm animals.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Tidbits
Enana
When I was just a little girl, my mom and I were shopping at Zody's when a another little girl at the end of the isle points to my mom and yells out, "Mira mama, una enana!" Which translates to "Look mom, a midget!" I was mad and stuck my tongue out at her. That was the day I became self-conscious. (She's 4'11)
Tamales
I make a mean tamale (a Mexican dish), so one day my mom and I made a bunch and went around selling them to people working around town. My mom stopped a couple of Hispanic ladies and asks them in Spanish if they would be interested in purchasing some tamales her daughter made. In Spanish they reply no thanks and the one turns to the other and says, I wonder what Chinese tamales taste like, I bet they're really good! I busted up laughing and we still chuckle about it. We did end up selling them all.
Polygamy
When I was on my mission in Japan, someone informed my parents that my religion practices polygamy. And although I tried to convince my parents otherwise, I realized they weren't convinced when a couple days before my wedding my mom pulls aside my fiance (now husband) and says, "Now, you are only going to marry one wife right?" C was very tempted to say that I was going to be his second but decided it wasn't the right time to play a joke.
A Dreamer
My mom has had some very amazing dreams. After I returned from my mission, my mom and I took a road trip to Utah because a friend from Japan came to the states to go through the temple for the first time. I was honored to be her escort. During the road trip she shared a dream she recently had. She said that we were both walking down two long paths for a while. Eventually she opened a gate to join me and we walked the rest of the way together.
Grandparents
My mom lived with her grandparents for a while during her childhood in Mexico. She was very fond of them and speaks about them with great love. Grandma had gotten sick and she wasn't getting better. Realizing that the end was near, her grandfather put a white sheet over a stick and stuck it on the far end of the yard. As her grandmother got sicker and sicker, the white sheet got closer and closer. Eventually the white sheet couldn't get any closer to the house and one day it disappeared when her grandfather told her that the angels have come and taken her grandmother to heaven.
When I was just a little girl, my mom and I were shopping at Zody's when a another little girl at the end of the isle points to my mom and yells out, "Mira mama, una enana!" Which translates to "Look mom, a midget!" I was mad and stuck my tongue out at her. That was the day I became self-conscious. (She's 4'11)
Tamales
I make a mean tamale (a Mexican dish), so one day my mom and I made a bunch and went around selling them to people working around town. My mom stopped a couple of Hispanic ladies and asks them in Spanish if they would be interested in purchasing some tamales her daughter made. In Spanish they reply no thanks and the one turns to the other and says, I wonder what Chinese tamales taste like, I bet they're really good! I busted up laughing and we still chuckle about it. We did end up selling them all.
Polygamy
When I was on my mission in Japan, someone informed my parents that my religion practices polygamy. And although I tried to convince my parents otherwise, I realized they weren't convinced when a couple days before my wedding my mom pulls aside my fiance (now husband) and says, "Now, you are only going to marry one wife right?" C was very tempted to say that I was going to be his second but decided it wasn't the right time to play a joke.
A Dreamer
My mom has had some very amazing dreams. After I returned from my mission, my mom and I took a road trip to Utah because a friend from Japan came to the states to go through the temple for the first time. I was honored to be her escort. During the road trip she shared a dream she recently had. She said that we were both walking down two long paths for a while. Eventually she opened a gate to join me and we walked the rest of the way together.
Grandparents
My mom lived with her grandparents for a while during her childhood in Mexico. She was very fond of them and speaks about them with great love. Grandma had gotten sick and she wasn't getting better. Realizing that the end was near, her grandfather put a white sheet over a stick and stuck it on the far end of the yard. As her grandmother got sicker and sicker, the white sheet got closer and closer. Eventually the white sheet couldn't get any closer to the house and one day it disappeared when her grandfather told her that the angels have come and taken her grandmother to heaven.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
The Vedict's In......I'm a Slacker Mommy
As part of a Mother's Day gift, K's teacher had him fill out a sheet titled, "My mom according to K." As I read it, I came to the realization that K perceives me as a slacker mom and now his teacher knows it.
Not only can I not do a black flip, I'm obsessed with cleanliness instead of more important things, take a nap while he's at school, and can't even come up with a pet name to call him. Well at least he didn't disclose all my other weaknesses here and hopefully he keeps my name safe from now on........yeah right when kids say the darnedest things. I don't think teachers should be asking such personal questions any how.
Oh yeah, how do you know what I do when you're at school anyways? Little did you know that I mowed the lawn and weeded while you were there yesterday. You think the lawn mows itself when dad's out of town? And I sat around and let you guys make a mess and didn't make you clean it up. Remember? I spent an hour trying to help L relearn to ride a bike while you and A rode yours too. I was sweating bullets and my back hurt too. I've been a single mom for the last four weeks (minus weekends). I even drove to and from Jackson Hole alone with the three of you and didn't kill us even in the middle of the night with all those freaky deer. humph. Ok fine I admit I frequently do take naps in the afternoon. So what? Did you know there's a study that shows people who take naps have healthier hearts? huh, huh, huh? Didn't think so. Don't you want me to have a healthy heart and live a long life? I guess I'm a little disgruntled which means I probably should get off my behind and be a little more enthusiastic with my motherly duties. Next year, this sheet is going to read:
My mom cannot not do anything.
My mom is the happiest when we are productive, industrious little individuals.
My mom gets mad when.......she never gets mad, even when the house is dirty because she realizes that a clean and perfect house is not as important as spending good quality time with her children.
My mom's pet name for me is busy bee because I'm always working away while my peers waste their time watching t.v. and playing video games.
While I'm at school my mom does all sorts of creative things including crafts, making meals, spending time with my brothers one on one, and taking care of the neighbors.
I love my mom because she's perfect.
click to enlarge (notice the exclamation points)
Not only can I not do a black flip, I'm obsessed with cleanliness instead of more important things, take a nap while he's at school, and can't even come up with a pet name to call him. Well at least he didn't disclose all my other weaknesses here and hopefully he keeps my name safe from now on........yeah right when kids say the darnedest things. I don't think teachers should be asking such personal questions any how.Oh yeah, how do you know what I do when you're at school anyways? Little did you know that I mowed the lawn and weeded while you were there yesterday. You think the lawn mows itself when dad's out of town? And I sat around and let you guys make a mess and didn't make you clean it up. Remember? I spent an hour trying to help L relearn to ride a bike while you and A rode yours too. I was sweating bullets and my back hurt too. I've been a single mom for the last four weeks (minus weekends). I even drove to and from Jackson Hole alone with the three of you and didn't kill us even in the middle of the night with all those freaky deer. humph. Ok fine I admit I frequently do take naps in the afternoon. So what? Did you know there's a study that shows people who take naps have healthier hearts? huh, huh, huh? Didn't think so. Don't you want me to have a healthy heart and live a long life? I guess I'm a little disgruntled which means I probably should get off my behind and be a little more enthusiastic with my motherly duties. Next year, this sheet is going to read:
My mom cannot not do anything.
My mom is the happiest when we are productive, industrious little individuals.
My mom gets mad when.......she never gets mad, even when the house is dirty because she realizes that a clean and perfect house is not as important as spending good quality time with her children.
My mom's pet name for me is busy bee because I'm always working away while my peers waste their time watching t.v. and playing video games.
While I'm at school my mom does all sorts of creative things including crafts, making meals, spending time with my brothers one on one, and taking care of the neighbors.
I love my mom because she's perfect.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Yesterday
Yellowstone
Excelsior Geyser
Including these, we saw fox and two wolves (a grey and black one). We were hoping to see the grizzlies that some others got a glimpse of.
Old Faithful
Dinner at Q Roadhouse. They bring out a bucket of peanuts before ordering and you throw the shells on the floor. It's great. The food is pretty good but a little spicy for the kids.
Monday, May 05, 2008
Do I Dare Hope
By Nancy A. Ericson
Do I dare hope for the day when I can sleep through the night without having to warm up a bottle or calm a scared toddler?
Or better yet, for the day when I have more than a foot on my own bed to sleep on because sometime during the night an unhappy baby was easier to calm by laying him there than putting him back into his crib.
Do I dare hope for the day I can sleep in till I’m not tired anymore instead of being forced up by the guilty feelings I get when I hear, “I’m hungry.”
Or better yet, when I can use the bathroom or take a shower without hearing little fists pounding on the door to let them in and then have to cut my precious, hot shower short because someone sitting on the toilet needs some wiping.
Do I dare hope for the day when I don’t have to pin down the kid to brush his teeth or hear ringing in my ears because I’ve just rinsed the shampoo out of someone’s hair?
Or better yet, for the day when I can read a book during the day (without feeling guilty).
Do I dare hope for the day to find tape when I need it, to find scissors where I left them last, or anything for that matter because three very busy boys find it very fun to use anything and everything including toothpicks, cotton balls, yarn, buttons, dental floss, envelopes, to pass the day.
Or better yet, when I don’t find my nicely, organized linen closet empty and all the sheets, towels, and blankets twisted up or spread out into a fort inside the house or even worse outside smelling like grass, smog and whatever else is out there.
Do I dare hope for the day when I’m down to three loads of laundry (whites, lights, and darks) instead of three per person per week and for that day when I don’t have to put it all away or throw it all off the bed so that I can get under the covers for the night?
Or better yet, for the day I don’t have to make a milk or diaper run at midnight.
Do I dare hope for the day when I clean my house and it stays clean?
Or better yet when there no longer is that constant puddle of urine at the base of the toilet or behind, especially after spending so much time back there on my hands and knees scrubbing.
Do I dare hope for the day they pick up there own clothes instead of me having to take a whiff to decide whether the article is clean or dirty and then being unpleasantly, surprised by that potent smell, the one all parents know….rotten, stinky pee.
Or better yet when I go to open my dryer and pull out the clothes and there’s no sand pouring out or open the washer and there’s no remnant of an exploded diaper that somehow made it in along with the load.
Do I dare hope for the day that the things I buy don’t get damaged or ruined after just three minutes?
Or better yet when I can put on my glasses in the middle of the night to see what time it is, and they are not permanently in a state of crookedness because I’m too poor to get yet another replacement.
Do I dare hope for the day I’m not wiping off greasy, dirty fingerprints from my walls, bedspread, fridge, TV and computer screen, and especially off my new pair of jeans…argh.
Or better yet when the only bum I’m wiping is my own.
Do I dare hope for the day I can go out shopping in peace instead of in a constant state of anxiety trying to find the perfect outfit in a hurry because the kids are screaming bloody murder or wondering where my kids are after letting them out of the cart or stroller thinking it could buy me another five minutes and hoping they haven’t been kidnapped?
Or better yet when I can go out on my own and leave the house guilt free because I’m not shutting the door behind me as I listen to resenting cries and then be gone for as long as I want.
Do I dare hope for the day I can sit through a meal without having to get up to fetch something for someone else, to clean up a spill, or even worse to help someone finish business in the bathroom.
Or better yet for the day when I don’t have to worry about making healthy meals three times a day plus snacks.
Do I dare hope for the day I don’t have to pull the car over on the side of the road and tell someone to get out or behave?
Or better yet for the day when I’m not reaching in the back seat to pick up spilling soda while I’m driving.
Do I dare hope for the day when we're at church and that paper airplane I just made for them doesn't go flying across the congregation?
Or better yet when we're at church and they are sitting still instead of on me, over me, and under me, and when I pretend I don't see those eyes staring at us while I once again pretend that I don't see my kid stretching his gum and sticking it on the something or picking his nose, or throwing a punch at his brother.
Do I dare hope for time to go by more quickly, when it already does?
Because looking back, it all seems like a small sacrifice to endure, a small trade off for the blessings of having these babies, for the gift of time to spend with them, for the things they teach me, and for the opportunity to guide them along.
I only have so much time before they’d rather I not snuggle up with them, before I no longer hear them sing primary songs in their little voices, and I won’t be so easily forgiven regardless of the mistakes I’ve made.
There’s only so much time before they turn their backs to me and go live their own lives which almost doesn’t include me at all.
There’s only so much time before I’m not the center of their world and they spend all day long planning and making gifts for me for Mother’s Day using the tape, scissors, yarn, buttons, dental floss, and envelopes I’ve been looking for.
There’s only so much time before I start wishing I could go back in time to hear their precious breathing while they sleep, to feel their little hearts beat next to mine while I rock them.
Do I dare hope for time to go by more quickly, when it already does?
Do I dare hope for the day when I can sleep through the night without having to warm up a bottle or calm a scared toddler?
Or better yet, for the day when I have more than a foot on my own bed to sleep on because sometime during the night an unhappy baby was easier to calm by laying him there than putting him back into his crib.
Do I dare hope for the day I can sleep in till I’m not tired anymore instead of being forced up by the guilty feelings I get when I hear, “I’m hungry.”
Or better yet, when I can use the bathroom or take a shower without hearing little fists pounding on the door to let them in and then have to cut my precious, hot shower short because someone sitting on the toilet needs some wiping.
Do I dare hope for the day when I don’t have to pin down the kid to brush his teeth or hear ringing in my ears because I’ve just rinsed the shampoo out of someone’s hair?
Or better yet, for the day when I can read a book during the day (without feeling guilty).
Do I dare hope for the day to find tape when I need it, to find scissors where I left them last, or anything for that matter because three very busy boys find it very fun to use anything and everything including toothpicks, cotton balls, yarn, buttons, dental floss, envelopes, to pass the day.
Or better yet, when I don’t find my nicely, organized linen closet empty and all the sheets, towels, and blankets twisted up or spread out into a fort inside the house or even worse outside smelling like grass, smog and whatever else is out there.
Do I dare hope for the day when I’m down to three loads of laundry (whites, lights, and darks) instead of three per person per week and for that day when I don’t have to put it all away or throw it all off the bed so that I can get under the covers for the night?
Or better yet, for the day I don’t have to make a milk or diaper run at midnight.
Do I dare hope for the day when I clean my house and it stays clean?
Or better yet when there no longer is that constant puddle of urine at the base of the toilet or behind, especially after spending so much time back there on my hands and knees scrubbing.
Do I dare hope for the day they pick up there own clothes instead of me having to take a whiff to decide whether the article is clean or dirty and then being unpleasantly, surprised by that potent smell, the one all parents know….rotten, stinky pee.
Or better yet when I go to open my dryer and pull out the clothes and there’s no sand pouring out or open the washer and there’s no remnant of an exploded diaper that somehow made it in along with the load.
Do I dare hope for the day that the things I buy don’t get damaged or ruined after just three minutes?
Or better yet when I can put on my glasses in the middle of the night to see what time it is, and they are not permanently in a state of crookedness because I’m too poor to get yet another replacement.
Do I dare hope for the day I’m not wiping off greasy, dirty fingerprints from my walls, bedspread, fridge, TV and computer screen, and especially off my new pair of jeans…argh.
Or better yet when the only bum I’m wiping is my own.
Do I dare hope for the day I can go out shopping in peace instead of in a constant state of anxiety trying to find the perfect outfit in a hurry because the kids are screaming bloody murder or wondering where my kids are after letting them out of the cart or stroller thinking it could buy me another five minutes and hoping they haven’t been kidnapped?
Or better yet when I can go out on my own and leave the house guilt free because I’m not shutting the door behind me as I listen to resenting cries and then be gone for as long as I want.
Do I dare hope for the day I can sit through a meal without having to get up to fetch something for someone else, to clean up a spill, or even worse to help someone finish business in the bathroom.
Or better yet for the day when I don’t have to worry about making healthy meals three times a day plus snacks.
Do I dare hope for the day I don’t have to pull the car over on the side of the road and tell someone to get out or behave?
Or better yet for the day when I’m not reaching in the back seat to pick up spilling soda while I’m driving.
Do I dare hope for the day when we're at church and that paper airplane I just made for them doesn't go flying across the congregation?
Or better yet when we're at church and they are sitting still instead of on me, over me, and under me, and when I pretend I don't see those eyes staring at us while I once again pretend that I don't see my kid stretching his gum and sticking it on the something or picking his nose, or throwing a punch at his brother.
Do I dare hope for time to go by more quickly, when it already does?
Because looking back, it all seems like a small sacrifice to endure, a small trade off for the blessings of having these babies, for the gift of time to spend with them, for the things they teach me, and for the opportunity to guide them along.
I only have so much time before they’d rather I not snuggle up with them, before I no longer hear them sing primary songs in their little voices, and I won’t be so easily forgiven regardless of the mistakes I’ve made.
There’s only so much time before they turn their backs to me and go live their own lives which almost doesn’t include me at all.
There’s only so much time before I’m not the center of their world and they spend all day long planning and making gifts for me for Mother’s Day using the tape, scissors, yarn, buttons, dental floss, and envelopes I’ve been looking for.
There’s only so much time before I start wishing I could go back in time to hear their precious breathing while they sleep, to feel their little hearts beat next to mine while I rock them.
Do I dare hope for time to go by more quickly, when it already does?
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